J'Lostein

I'm a Glass Child


Fragile, crystal, and translucent.

I'm Jamie. I adore dolls, collecting gemstones and minerals, reading the odd book or two, documentaries, astronomy, paleontology, the supernatural and paranormal, and music. I write it, sing it, play it, record it, and emote through it. It speaks for me when I stumble yet again with my speech.

Sometimes, I'm comfortably, unmistakably, strongly sure of who I am and what I live for, of who I am to be and the goals I set for myself. Other times, it all gets shaken up and shattered into a million little pieces and I find myself floating and struggling to find it again.

And I love the madness so much.

I just have to wake up and escape out of my stasis and cease to merely 'exist'.

What about you?

100 Happy Days - Day 30

First day of Eid came and went most nicely, and I’m glad this one was seen with you.

(Also, I just have to point out that he actually did help pick out my outfit, before he whines about it again!)

100 Happy Days - Day 29

A video counts too, right? Arrived in my father’s hometown for Eid, and right across the house is this big soothing beach. I love it, it’s so calming, especially when it’s not so sunny like this. I came here many times as a little girl and would get so excited.

So I has Instagram now.

Username ‘jlostein’.

That is all!

100 Happy Days - Day 28

What an unexpected, but most lovely surprise!! Erutan / Kate Covington’s beautiful new album ‘The Court of Leaves’ arrived for me in the mail today, and look at those adorable little Kate-stickers! Kate is an idol and goddess to me, musically, and an absolute angel of a friend who is truly irreplaceable. I have yet to meet anyone who can surpass her talents! I highly recommend giving her work a peek. Day is made indeed!

As I distance and remove myself from all that is happening to me and place myself in the position of observer, I begin seeing all of it at once. The vibrations, the energies, the sequences in and out of order. All happening all at once. An amazing chaos, full of contradictions, but set perfectly in place, like it wants to be. Terrible pain, terrible light. Rhyme, reason. Loss, birth, surrender, release. It isn’t one or the other. Is it part of the surreal picture that in truth, no one realizes or can escape from.

When the Universe decides something is so, it shall be so. It will manifest and take over your life.

If only we took a minute to actually talk to each other and discover our lives, our stories… maybe we wouldn’t be so quick to judge and hate each other.

100 Happy Days - Day 27

A little peek at a little something I bought for Eid.

100 Happy Days - Day 26

Date day today consisted of two movies (The Fault In Our Stars and Hercules) and the bunny cafe again! Extremely happy. Thanks for also being a best friend. Jerk.

100 Happy Days - Day 25

(I shall punch him in the face after this post to regain my manliness)

It has been well over two months since my last post (day 24) on what was supposed to be a continuous, everyday project. However, things broke apart at one point and I withdrew for awhile. I’m happy and relieved to say that I’m finally feeling better and free enough to start this again.

To everyone who has been there and supported and lifted me up, I thank you deeply. There will be a special post coming, but right now I just want to mention an individual that has played a major part in my recovery.

Friends who know me best know that I am not one to get caught up in the moment and get blinded by fleeting moments and emotions… mostly. So when I say this, I say this with my thoughts and honesty firmly studied and in place.

You… I am proud of you, and to have you. Thank you for the acceptance, thank you for the freedom. For the sincerity and understanding. Thank you for showing me that I can be both happy and loved for who I am, without thinking there must be something wrong with me and that I must change who I am first before I deserve that happiness. Thank you for the love. Thanks just for being you, kid.

(Now, about that punch in the face…)

gourmandghast:

unexplained-events:

Begotten (1990)
If you are looking for an experimental horror film to watch, go for this one if you can stomach it. It re-imagines the story of Genesis. The story opens with a robed, profusely bleeding “God” disemboweling himself, with the act ultimately ending in his death. It’s in black and white and has absolutely no dialogue. The words “experimental horror” are the best way to describe this film.
[LINK]


Gonna watch this later!

gourmandghast:

unexplained-events:

Begotten (1990)

If you are looking for an experimental horror film to watch, go for this one if you can stomach it. It re-imagines the story of Genesis. The story opens with a robed, profusely bleeding “God” disemboweling himself, with the act ultimately ending in his death. It’s in black and white and has absolutely no dialogue. The words “experimental horror” are the best way to describe this film.

[LINK]

Gonna watch this later!

I adore reading and deconstructing people like open books. More than I adore reading actual books. The lines are just so much more frighteningly beautiful.